an open letter to lindsay lohan.

dear lindsay,
as much as i sometimes wish i was you and lived your crazy life, you really need to stop making people think its alright to walk around looking like they belong in willy wonka’s factory.

seriously – its rude.

the colour orange only belongs on certain things; included are creamsicles, oranges, and muppet fur.  unfortunately your skin does not fit into this category.

please do something about this soon.  we’re all concerned.




if you, or someone you know has fallen victim to a serious case of dorito-face or splotchy-hands, there is help available.

the glorious folks over at vichy reformulated their self-tanner capital soleil: auto bronzant, turning it from a carrot-toned finish to a beautiful natural bronze that has everyone asking me where i went on vacation.

shhh! don’t tell!

at $25, i think i can sacrifice a case of ginger-vitus for the cash.

click here for the self-tanner hall of shame.
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